Friday, April 12, 2013

Dear Diary... In 7 Quick Takes

Good news everyone!  I found my elementary school diary.  Want to see what's inside?


I wrote my first entry on March 13, 1992, a month after my 7th birthday.

This entry is rated PG-13 due to adult themes.  Also, my brother's friend would have been 12 at this point.  I had mad game.


When I was little my mom would tell me I was a 50-year-old man trapped in a 7-year-old's body.  Phrases in my diary like "life is going fine" prove her right.


Please look past the blatant bigotry in this post and focus instead on the fact that I asked my diary, an inanimate object, to help me get revenge on someone.


Talk about a love/hate relationship.  And what 7-year-old describes people as "having a kind heart?"


First, I didn't understand that you are supposed to kiss the page with lipstick, not draw lips on the page with lipstick.  Second, this love diamond I devised cracks me up because it also links Nathan and Shane together.  Apparently, I wanted to convey that Nathan loved me, I loved Shane, and Nathan and Shane loved each other.  Kinky stuff.


I sound half-human/half robot in this entry.  "The temperature of the pool was 87 degrees."  Did I bring equipment to test the temperature, or was this pure conjecture?  We will never know.  


This was typical of my childhood.  Mom and Matt go do something fun, while my Dad and I stay in to watch Star Trek.  But that Will Riker sure was dreamy...

Check out Jen for more Quick Takes!


  1. This is amazing!!!! I wish I had my diary from way back when, but I think it was just a list of boys I had crushes on. You were clearly always destined to be the better creative writer. PS - found you by clicking through on 7QT. Fellow lawyer here so I couldn't resist clicking the blog name!

  2. Nice spelling, but you couldn't stay on the line?

    Awesome, otherwise.

    I have nothing like that from my childhood.

  3. I'm jealous that you were able to find that. I only have diaries going back to high school. Everything before that is long since lost, I'm afraid.