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I am writing this blog post from my friend Samantha's apartment in Bridgeport, WV. It is nice to introduce friends to one another by using fun facts, so here it goes. Readers, meet Samantha. Samantha went through a phase when she was 4 where she made everyone refer to her as "Junk-Junk 14." Samantha, meet my readers. My readers take time out of their busy schedules to read the nonsense that I post and I love them dearly for it.
The reason I'm in Bridgeport is because Samantha and I attended a guardian ad litem training in Morgantown today. I drove to Morgantown yesterday so I could spend the night in same hotel as the conference. During the majority of my drive I smelled Gingerbread, which makes me wonder if I was experiencing my first psychotic episode.
I stayed at the Waterfront Place Hotel. It was pretty swanky. I ate clam chowder. And made memories. Mainly of eating clam chowder.
Anyway, back to the conference. I don't think adults are built to listen to speakers for 8 hours in one day. I don't know about you, but my attention span has gotten smaller as I've gotten older. Maybe it is because we are given so much more freedom as adults, or because we are used to trying to accomplish a lot in one day. But, I find it painful to attend these conferences. Also, I like to sit Indian style (is that an offensive term nowadays?) and I feel judged when I do so at a conference table in front of other attorneys.
To make matters worse, there was a woman in attendance who committed nearly all of the faux pas I mentioned in my post No Such Thing As Stupid Questions? At the end of each section, the speakers asked if there were any questions, and the same woman would stand up. Everyone else audibly groaned, because they knew she would take a good portion of the break we were promised with her banter. Also, she was a huge Negative Nelly. She ended most of her comments with "And frankly I'm disappointed that none of the speakers talked about [insert topic here]." Save it for the comment card, Nelly.
Now that the conference is over, Samantha and I are going to order a pizza and watch Moonrise Kingdom in our PJs. And I'm really excited about it.
Finally, I want to mention that in a couple of days I am going to post something a little heavier than what I normally write. I wrote a story titled "Cancer In III Acts" as a tribute to my mom. I am going to post Act I on Sunday, Act II on Monday, and Act III on Tuesday. I know what I wrote doesn't do her justice, but I am excited to share her with you.