Friday, November 2, 2012

You Call That Driving? In 7 Quick Takes (11)

This week I am simply complaining about the driving habits that get under my skin the most.  Enjoy!


The Diddy Kong Racer

These are the drivers who creep... ever... so... slowly towards a green light, but speedupwhenthelightturnsyellow so that they are the only ones who make it through.  These drivers remind me of Diddy Kong Racing on Nintendo 64, where an opponent's car would putter along the racetrack until it hit a turbo balloon that provided their car with 2 seconds of ultra-speed.  Unlike in Diddy Kong Racing, however, I cannot use oil slick balloons to derail them.


The Kamikaze

These are the drivers who refuse to move into the left lane to let people merge from entrance ramps, even when the left lane is empty.  These suicide attackers are perfectly willing to sacrifice themselves and any innocent merging drivers for no reason.  Not cool at all.


The Inferiority Complex

These drivers take it as a personal insult when you pass them, so they try to kill you by speeding up while you are in the passing lane.  It will never make sense to me why I often have to go about 75 miles an hour to pass someone who was just going 50 miles an hour.  I am not challenging you to a drag race.  I am not insulting your mother or your political beliefs.  I just want to go the speed limit.


The Socialite

These gabby motorists like to stop in the middle of the road so they can roll down their window and talk to another driver or pedestrian.  A line of traffic forms behind them as they gossip about the neighbor or reminisce about that "one time" back in high school.  Certain things are best done over a beer or a cup of coffee.  I assure you that the middle of the road is an incorrect venue for your chat.


The Stealth Moder

These drivers go incognito by refusing or forgetting to turn on their headlights when it's dark outside.  My husband refers to this as "stealth mode."  These are probably the same people that walk on the road at night wearing dark jeans and black hoodies.  Being invisible doesn't make you invincible.


Wet Willy

My sister-in-law, Brandy, complained about this one to me and I liked it.  These drivers pull up next to you at a red light and use their windshield wiper fluid, splashing your car in the process.  This is the driving equivalent to people who spit on you when they talk.



I understand that it can be annoying, and even dangerous, whenever someone drives at a tortoise's pace.  By turtles, however, I am specifically referring to the drivers who go miles under the speed limit on country roads where there is no option of passing.  West Virginians often refer to distance in terms of time and not mileage because on a back country road, 5 miles can take 20 minutes or more.  When stuck behind a turtle, a quick drive down the street can turn into a road trip.  I appreciate drivers who recognize their turtle-like behavior and pull over on the side of the road to let the long line of traffic they have gathered behind them pass.

Check out Jen's quick takes, and feel free to comment with any annoying driving habits I left off my list!


  1. First of all I love the kamikaze one. You did forget about those crazy people that refuse to leave the passing lane under any circumstance. I am sure you could think of a catchy name for those folks.

    1. Ha! Thanks Sarah. I thought about including that one. And people who don't use their turn signals, or forget to turn them off.

  2. Replies
    1. Why thank you. You are invited to follow mine.

  3. The people who drive me crazy are the ones who need to turn right to join traffic, and they see you coming, but wait to turn until they can cut you off. Of course they then take their time coming up to speed....

    1. Haha! It especially drives me nuts when there aren't any cars behind me. They could have waited two more seconds to turn and it would have been fine.

  4. Oh these were so funny! My husband has a big problem with people who do not know how to merge onto to the highway. They sit on the entrance ramp waiting for an opening with a line of cars waiting behind them on the ramp...Arrrgg!

    1. I'm glad you enjoyed them! And I agree with your husband. Entrance ramps don't have stop signs. No need to act like they do!

  5. Very funny and sooooo true. What about the folks that use the bed of their pick up truck as a reciprocol for their fast food trash. They proceed to drive on the Interstate as you watch the trash twirl and whirl to get enough air lift to propel a styrofoam cup into the path of other cars, who in turn swerve violently to avoid a cup that weighs 4 grams. This driver is a cousin to the Diddy Kong Racer. Like a Yoshi throwing vegetables, coins or Bob-omb's.

    1. I love the detail you put into this response. " you watch the trash twirl and whirl..." Why haven't you started a blog yet, Crystal?? Also, I'm going to start working the word "bob-omb" into my daily vocabulary.