Monday, December 3, 2012

Lawyer, Writer, Falconress.

This past Saturday I got to mark a very important item off of my bucket list:  take a falconry lesson.  God heard my plea for falconry training and presented the opportunity to me via a Living Social deal.  I used to think Living Social only provided deals for frivolous things like food, vacations, and spa pedicures.  I apologize Living Social, for I misjudged you.

My friend Sarah and I each bought a lesson, and then drove to the Greenbrier Resort in White Sulfur Springs on Saturday morning.  Neither of us had ever been to the Greenbrier, so we were excited to see it.  Once we were inside, I pictured myself sitting in the parlor drinking tea with white gloves on, giggling girlishly while saying things like "I do declare" or "why, he ain't got the good sense God gave a goose."  I can be high society as well as the next girl.
The resort was all decorated for Christmas, which 
included a tower made of 1 million presents.
As the shuttle pulled up to the "Falconry Academy," as it is called, I was so excited I could have peed my pants.  Before the demonstration, we learned about the history of falconry, and how the sport applies to all birds of prey, not just falcons.  That is when we met these guys:
That there is Mr. Eagle, Mr. Hawk, and Mr. Owl.
I laughed at the eagle because I thought he looked like a cartoon character.  Then he tried to eat me.  With his eyes.

"Step OFF before I wreck you!"
The instructor took us outside and did a demonstration with the hawk.  This included encouraging the hawk to fly so close to our heads that its feathers tickled my ears.  Then we walked through the trees with said hawk before watching it devour a (dead) baby chick.  My first most favorite part of the demonstration was getting to hold the falcon ourselves.  My second most favorite part was seeing the falcon with his "hood" on.  The hood is like a miniature leather helm that makes the falcon look like a tiny warrior.  Man, I love animals in hats.
Santa Baby, put a falcon under the tree for me.
That same night, my sister-in-law Brandy had a toy drive party at her house.  She is the world's best party planner, so of course the food was amazing.  She had crab cakes, pecan-crusted brie, and little brownies wearing strawberry santa hats.  Oh!  And chocolate liqueur in shot glasses made of peppermint.  Everything was edible.  It was the adult equivalent of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.  And the company was fantastic!  Plenty of woman attended who are inappropriate conversationalists like myself.  They taught me what vajazzling is.  It really opened my eyes.
Me with the hostess, and some of her delicious party fare.

Me with my friend Sarah.  Also, I threw in some pictures
of frosted marshmallows and the aforementioned
Santa hat brownies for good measure.


  1. You forgot my favorite part of the lesson. That was when the hawk tried to attack a young boys furry boots while they were still on his.

    1. Hahaha! That's right. I guess that toddler will put more thought into his wardrobe next time.

  2. All I have to say is!

  3. I never get Living Social deals like this. The most exciting thing to come my way recently was half off a boudoir photography session. Totally. jealous. Going to put falconry lessons on my Christmas list right now.