Friday, May 25, 2012

Matthew 7:3

I woke up this morning with a list of things I wanted to get done:  jog, work on the final two chapters of my book, put together the rest of my office furniture, and install an antique doorknob on my office door (it is currently doorknobless).  My brother, Matt, met me at the office to help chip away some of the wood on the door so the locking mechanism would fit.  A pile of sawdust collected inside one of the holes in the door, and I bent down and blew on it like an idiot.  The sawdust, aka hundreds of tiny splinters, flew back directly into my left eye.  I ran to the bathroom and rinsed it out as best I could, but it continued to ache and water.  I decided to go to the nearest drug store and get some eye drops.

I brought a box of Clear Eyes to the cashier at Rite Aid, tears streaming down the left side of my face.

"Hi, how are you today?" the cashier said with a smile.

"I'm okay, you?" I answered.

"I'm doing just fine.  It sure is beautiful outside today."

"Yes, it is."

"Are you a Rite Aid Wellness Rewards member?"

"No."  (Actually I am.  In fact, I am a free rewards member of nearly every store I have ever been to.  But I wanted to speed the process along, as I was tweaking for my drops).

The cashier looked at my puffy face, my eye swollen half shut.  "Would you like to sign up to become a Wellness Rewards member?"

"Just give me the goods!" I wanted to yell.  Instead I said, "No, thank you for asking though."

"Sure! I've been meaning to sign up for a Wellness card.
Now seems like as good a time as any."
I put the drops in my eye as soon as I got to the car, but they didn't do any good.  It occurred to me that there might still be several splinters lodged in my eyeball.  I could be blind within hours!

I drove to Immediate Care, awkwardly, as my depth perception wasn't optimal.  The clerk at the front desk set a simple 3 question form in front of me.  The first question asked about my race.  I glanced down and saw a choice that said "white, nonhispanic" and I checked it confidently.  The clerk stared at me with a smirk, so I looked back at the form and saw "Caucasian" listed as the top option.

"It asks which race I identify with the most," I said, justifying my choice instead of changing it.  Anyway, I am white, and I'm not hispanic.  It was like taking the bar exam all over again.  Several answers are correct, but which is the most correct?

The doctor irrigated my eye and did a dye test to check for scratches.  There was a scratch, and I was given some antibiotic ointment and numbing eye drops, and sent on my merry way.  You will be happy to know that my prognosis is good.

Also, Matt finished installing the doorknob for me because he is my big brother and he is awesome.

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