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Friday, October 12, 2012

7 Quick Takes Friday (9)

Check out Jen's quick takes!

After much deliberation, I recently made my first big purchase using my law office credit card.


What is this high-tech piece of gadgetry, you ask?  Why, a paper shredder of course!  My favorite thing about this paper shredder is not its ability to shred even cds and credit cards, nor is it the ease with which the paper shreddings can be emptied.  No.  It is the warning symbols on the front.

I'm not one for reading instruction manuals, unless I have to put the product together myself.  I have made certain assumptions about what these warning symbols mean.  Are they correct?  Who knows.  Who cares?  Not I.

(1)

Check tire pressure.  I am definitely familiar with the exclamation
symbol, as it has been lit up in my car for months now.

(2)

No clapping! No matter how much this product delights you.

(3)

No shredding of tools.  This product is strong,
but not screwdriver strong.

(4)

Don't feel the need to dress up when using this product.
A button-up shirt and khakis will work just fine. 

(5)

Do not spray paint this product.
It looks good just the way God made it.

(6)

Do not use this product to trim your hair, even though you feel as
though you can trust this magnificant machine with your very life.

(7)

Finally, for the love of all things sacred, never, EVER, let children 
use this machine while they are holding hands with teddy bears.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was the funniest laugh I have had all week!

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  2. I just found your blog from the Quick Takes link-up, and I am DYING laughing now! This was hilarious!

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  3. Wow. Just wow.

    One of my co-workers used to have to go to the warehouse and shred. There was one time when we had VIP's hanging out and we had to wear our badges. One of my more nasty co-workers was making snarky comments about how she wondered if our shredding co-worker had bothered to take off his badge first. (They were on lanyards.) My response: I think I'd worry more about his beard.

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha! My model is missing badge and beard warnings.

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